The hunt is far from over

I was going through Facebook a few minutes ago when I spotted someone I don't know tag Miss Mel on one of his photo albums. An album of scanned newspaper clippings is irresistible to someone like me who's collected foreign newsprint over the years, especially when considering that one of my former teachers - well, not technically, since I didn't take any of her classes - is now working in Vietnam.

What I later saw surprised me. I was expecting articles written in Vietnamese, only with her photo on it, although there are some newspapers from that country that are published in English. (And they aren't really what you'd see in, say, Malaysia or Singapore. I guess it's the controls over the media, if I still have my history right.) Instead I have newspaper articles from 1995, with the scans verging on brown than yellow, and amidst the familiar then-dated look of the Inquirer was this deck: "As the first Filipino jock on Channel V's Sigaw Manila, she gets fanmail from all over the world."

One of my teachers was on international television.

It was a little weird, really. Sure, my classmates who took her classes were all praises for her, but I didn't expect it to come this far. Or, better yet, I didn't really expect her to be someone who worked in front of the television. When she came in, along with Miss Trini and Miss Lanie, to take over for an on-sabbatical Sir Groyon, I had the impression that they had extensive experience behind the camera. I wasn't wrong, of course, having seen lots of evidence pointing in that direction - a customary glance at Studio 23 will prove that. But I bought Sir Doy shirts from this person. And she was on television. It's a little weird seeing those photos of her from a long time ago, when my youngest brother was just a week old. And she still looks the same.

I still think about whether I did the right things to get myself to where I am right now. Sometimes, I thought, all you need to get to the biggest places is to do the right things. Maybe follow a path like Aaron's: when I first encountered him, he was already well into his stint as a student DJ for Magic 89.9, and was also busy with covering the UAAP basketball games. (I can still remember Sir Unson asking him about how the Archers were faring, although ironically he covered the Falcons.) Now he's got a good start in the broadcasting industry, doing shows on the Magic as well as a sports show on Studio 23. And I was reading a write-up about him on the Inquirer a few weeks back, and I chuckled at myself: I know this guy, I said. I even have his number. I think.

Then again, it's too early to wonder about it. I'm just six months into my current job - my probational period is almost over! - and everybody plus everybody else already know that I'm looking for a new one. At this stage, imagining what I'd end up doing in five years is inevitable. And I've had those daydreams, of me attending some big event with pen and paper in hand, taking to people, scribbling down notes, taking photos, composing paragraphs in my head, and forgetting all of them when I get home, if I do get home. Snap! I'm in front of a computer, writing about television shows I don't (get to) watch, trying my best not to bluff terribly.

"And also nga pala, I'm trying my luck at radio again," Ariane texted me two weeks ago. She'd later report, during one of those idle workday remnants, that she's sent an application to one radio station, and is on the process of recording a possibly unsolicited demo to another. ("Mahirap makapasok sa Magic. Kailangan either Junior Jock ka, or sikat ka na in the first place." Obligatory shoutout to Tin Gamboa coming up.) The streak was triggered, apparently, when a friend she bumped into gave her a DJ's phone number, and the rest happened from there. And she's been hosting events in school, and she's known for it, and I'm being derided at the forums for apparently pretending to know too much, and - wait, where was I? - have I done the right things to get myself to where I want to be?

Problem is, I am as confused about my future as almost everyone else.

For some reason, resigning from work was a conversation subject last week. Kris floated the question to me over lunch in high stools. ("Anong plano mo pagkatapos nito?" in a casual manner is a little surprising.) Neobie ended up floating the same topic a day later. ("Naghahanap pa ako ng maa-apply-an" in a casual manner is also a little surprising.) And I, well, with all that's happened over the first twenty-one weeks, I've learned to never float the possibility. Still, I'm thinking about that question for the past twenty-one weeks. It was the right decision before, but will it lead me to something better?

No supposed writing experience, no recognition, nothing to place on my resume, nothing else to prove whatever. "I've decided to pursue my writing chops," I told Ariane.

While Jackie waits for her last month, I'm waiting for the right time.

And your responses...

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