I almost did this before, but...

Yes, it's the same Niña who claimed that guys are "conceited [and] juvenile," and the same Niña who thinks Edward Cullen is "raising standards for future boyfriends," if she ever ends up with one.

And yes, it's the same Niko who has grown cynical over the entire thing.

So what are we doing, discussing this again?

I'm just cynical about love. I believe in it, but not in everything else attached to it. I don't know about her, but I have every reason to believe that she does, too; she just doesn't like the package it's presented in. Put the two together, and you have an online conversation that someone's bound to enjoy - at least one person, which happens to be me, because I get to assert stuff and challenge stuff, and the other way around.

We were actually talking about yesterday's blog entry. And then, in a fit of randomness, I started talking about her getting kidnapped and, for some reason, being left in the mouth of the Mayon volcano. And she started talking about some guy from those Korean dramas that she watches finding her plea on Twitter - for some reason, she'll have her phone in hand - looking for her across the Philippines, and rescuing her.

I ruin it by suggesting it's all a Greenwich ad, which is probably my point. She admits that these things happen only on screen. And then the clincher.

"Boys should try watching those," she said. "Para alam nila anong gagawin!"

"We know better," I countered. "We know what those films show don't work. And girls think they do because the guys are just so perfect. But we are not those guys!"

"Pero kaya n'yo namang gawin! And yet, hindi n'yo ginagawa."

"We can do those things, but it won't be as easy as the movies. Mahihirapan kami, papahirapan kami, at hindi kami forever susubok. Unlike them. May predisposition kapag pelikula. Dapat ganito. May expectation kasi sa pelikula. And what makes you say na if we do exactly what they do in the movies, you'll say yes?"

"Kasi we'll feel loved."

"At hanggang dun lang."

"And we'll fall in love?"

"Paano? Automatic na pala yun, ganun?"

"I dunno. Pero parang... I mean, nakikita mo sa movies. And if mangyari sa'yo yun?"

"So ma-i-in-love ka, kasi yung ginagawa namin, pareho nung napanood mo? I'm sorry, but it's shallow. Guys want to feel that what they're doing is worth it. Mas sensitive pa ata kami sa inyo, eh. Alam namin kung lokohan lang. Kung kumapit kami, kasi walang choice."

"Iba ka sa ibang guys, eh! Hindi naman lahat ganun mag-isip."

So, suddenly, I don't have the right props to talk about love, because I don't watch those movies? Because I never tried to address my feelings towards someone? Because I never had such feelings in the first place? At the moment, the whole thing turned another corner. I think she definitely got it wrong. Or, it's my ego thinking guys think basically the same even if we all do things differently.

But I conceded. "Fine, I'll give you that," I said. "Paano mag-isip ang ibang guys?"

"Other guys think na they could just get rid of girls kapag gusto nila," Niña said. "Tapos parang they are everything. And sometimes they take advantage. Tapos tingin nila, may papalit naman sa kanya kung mawala man siya. And hindi sila considerate!"

"And yet you think guys who act like the movies can cut it for you."

"Yes. Because perfect sila."

"So you expect us to become perfect?"

"No. You just have to learn from them."

"But that's learning to be perfect, which is impossible."

"Pero behind the perfection are flaws. And yet they try very hard. And that makes them perfect."

"So hindi sila perfect."

"Well, fine. Almost siguro."

"So bakit dapat naming gayahin ang nasa pelikula? It's all a set-up. For some reason alam mong alam nila kung anong meron. Sa totoong buhay? Wala kaming alam. Wala kayong alam."

"Wala din naman silang alam, ah."

"Pero alam mo. So napagtutugma mo yung ginagawa ng guy sa nararamdaman ng girl. You can't do that here. Hulaan."

"Pero it can happen rin naman."

"In your head. Only in your head."

"Hindi naman siguro. I mean, siguro may magic pa rin."

"Why want the magic to happen when you very well know that it doesn't happen?"

"It'll happen. Bakit may nagpapakasal? And why did Juday say na yung magic sa movies, it happens in real life?"

At that point, I think the conversation went ridiculously downhill. And yet we still talked. I argued that she got the boundary between movie magic and real life blurred, and she contended that Judy Ann and Ryan still got married despite being totally different from each other. I guess it's a tie. I'm looking for something grounded in reality. She's looking for that spark that tells her that it's it. And we're all looking for the same thing. At this rate, we'll never find it.

And your responses...

:( parin!
i like how you ended this entry though!

Blogger N.5/26/2009     

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