Maybe I should've gone to the bank first. But I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. I'll end up pacing straight to lunch, check my wallet, realize I only have three hundred bucks left - thankfully it's enough for lunch - and end up going to the ATM before returning to work.
But I wouldn't realize that I need to go to the bank first. After all, I went down the building slightly distracted. I had a question in my head and I was writing it down on my mobile phone, taking care not to write the wrong thing or bump into someone. I was done but I told myself I wasn't. I could've noticed that it's too early for me to go down and have lunch. I could've waited and organized my thoughts, maybe write them down on the back of a receipt, and not be thrown the possibility of a bias, which was definitely not what I had in mind.
Thank heavens for empty elevators. And thank heavens for mobile phones. Because in the end, they're the only ones you can count on: the phones, to tell everyone about your ordeal; the elevators, for a more physical means of release. I forced it out of my head, nicely, and I'm not rattled anymore. Fortunately.
It's just another one of those awkward moments where you don't know what to do, where you know you can't really get away from it, where you know that even if you know there's nothing left, you realize that there is something. Anything. Negative or otherwise. Which should explain for the smile that was kept away and the smile that wasn't so lucky...
9/03/2009
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Niko Batallones writes The Upper Blog.
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