How to annoy me effectively

Believe it or not, ladies, it's actually easy to annoy me.

First, you should be able to find me. I'm actually easy to spot. I always have a pair of earphones plugged in, and my iPod is either on my back pocket or inside my bag. I wear glasses, the usual black frames, not as thick unless I'm using my replacements. My usual glasses has a crack on my right lens. My replacements only look chipped.

I'm usually in a mall during my lunch break, which happens at one in the afternoon in most cases. I often avoid the lunch rush, and I get more work done that way. Or, you can see me walking the same route at six in the evening, unless I'm getting a haircut or passing by the supermarket. That's through the Shang, up the second floor, up the fourth floor, up the fifth floor, across EDSA via the MRT station, and down the stairs to the shuttle terminal nearby. Valerie taught me that. It's the same escalators if you enter through the restaurants.

You just have to spot me going to an escalator, because more often than not I'm alone. You can't do this if you're alone, though. You have to be with a guy, preferably your boyfriend, and you have to look preppy.

Now, get on the escalator before I get on it. You have to be directly in front of me: more often than not, I'll let you in first. (This actually works better in an escalator going up; escalators going down shouldn't be called escalators because you're not escalating.) While I end up staring either at the floor or your butt, which is inevitable, look at the guy beside you and laugh. Laugh arbitrarily. And then have the guy put his arm around your waist, like you usually do. And then have the guy kiss you in the cheek. Receive the kiss - it should be in the cheek, although you can risk locking your lips for maximum effect. And most importantly, just look happy.

What will happen is this: I'll snap out of my solitude and notice whatever you're doing. I'll look up, because I can't resist not looking at something that's moving - I must be a motion detector, a faulty one - and I'll get pissed at your public display of affection, although it isn't really as revolting as that couple I saw exchanging tongue when I was still in college. Still, you would have managed to show me the one thing I don't have: someone to do just that to.

And your responses...

You're not alone. It's worse here... :/ Outside the library, in a grocery mart, at a bus stop, in a subway terminal, in a mall around the phone booth, in the building lobby, under a bridge, in a bus... (and the list just goes on and on)

There's not a day where I don't see a couple making out.


Anonymous Anonymous11/01/2009     

Hey, since now I know what your usual routine is, I might just see you there :D

Blogger Aurora Grace11/03/2009     

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