"I haven't thought that far ahead yet"

There are two reasons why I haven't been blogging a lot lately.

One, I'm aiming to write more anecdotal blog entries than confrontational ones. "But this is your blog," Icka once told me shortly after I wrote one of the latter types - you know, the sort that sounds absolutely angry and usually addressed to an unidentified someone. "You don't have to think about who will read it. It's your blog." Well, yes, but surprisingly I'm actually getting tired of them. From a creative viewpoint, it says nothing, and for someone who's been exposed to pretty good writing lately, that doesn't cut it. From a personal viewpoint, it is absolutely stressful - yes, folks you've won this one, although I'm not making any promises.

Two, I'm just plain busy. When you're busy, you don't have the time to connect every observation you've made and turn it into a coherent bunch of paragraphs. I wrote a handful of inspired (or so I believe) entries at the beginning of the month, but the moment American Idol and Lost started fighting for a slot on my schedule, I knew something had to give. Mind you, it's not fun going home at seven in the evening, a full two hours after your mind starts sleeping.

Then again, I knew it was going to happen. This isn't the first time I had lots to do in a stretch of time. (The first time I pointed it out, more so.) Surely as time passes I'll have more and more things to do, and before you know it, I'll be turning in my work and leave immediately, rather than spend the next, say, two hours or so catching up with the shows I cover and waiting for six to arrive. I'll be writing less - well, I'll be writing here less, and I'll be written out at work. It's a surprise I haven't had frequent bouts with writer's block yet.

"I was such a fan of blogs before," Clarence tweeted a couple of weeks ago. "Now, I can't even make myself write a decent whatever about my day."

(I'd like to think it was because she saw something I wrote. That's just me fishing for a compliment.)

"Me too!" Ariane responded.

"You just updated yours last month," Clarence answered. "Hindi ka counted."

First, yes, I was eavesdropping on their Twitter conversation. Second, something did occur to me when I saw that, something that's already occurred to me before I forgot about it: someday, I'll be so busy I won't be able to blog. My little promise about writing at least one blog entry every month is bound to break soon. Heck, maybe if things go differently I'll be forced to abandon this blog in a few years' time. I don't want to, for I seriously plan to stick with this for the rest of my life, during which I'll be forced to fight with both writer's block and forgetfulness - something that everybody else I know who currently keeps a blog surely isn't entertaining.

"So," Anna asked me yesterday, my first idle online chat after four weeks of dealing with Kate making out with Sawyer, "what are your plans for the future?"

Oddly, my only plans for the future involve keeping this blog, and nothing much about high education (she's thinking of where to take her masters), career advancement ("I want to work as a part-time DJ!" she quipped) and, at the very least, settling down (we didn't talk about it, so I can just presume things are going well). The conclusion, of course, is something you've seen me say before: I am so screwed.

And your responses...

Post a Comment