8/30/2010 ‒
Fatigue

One of the saddest things I heard in my life came during my first year in college. One of my friend - I won't reveal names - was dumped by the woman he loved, just as he admitted his feelings to her. What made it particularly painful was what happened after: he found himself shut out of his circle of friends, which is definitely not something you usually think of when two people start acting awkwardly after feelings are revealed. But I didn't know much then, so I thought it was vaguely plausible.

It took a couple of weeks before I learned that story. By then, I noticed that he went from this really cheerful guy to a dejected loner, his gentle optimism trying hard to bust out of that really big downer. I finally asked him about what happened, and he finally told me the whole story. And then he had this really stark observation.

"Siya kasi yung tipong tao na kapag nagsawa na sa'yo, aalis na lang," he said of the girl, who also happened to be my friend. Suddenly, things weren't as simple as boy admits feelings, girl gets awkward.

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8/27/2010 ‒
I could've asked her not to leave me, and I should've

"Tell me. Do I fail at flirting because I don't know when I do?"

"I'm really bad at flirting. You shouldn't ask me about that. Most of my guy friends think I'm a guy. Actually, I think at some point you did, too."

"I don't even know how to flirt. That, and girls flirting, err... iffy? Or am I stuck in a time warp?"

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8/22/2010 ‒
The one-sided conversation

There's a heart for each one of us, from Sydney to some coffee shop table in Makati.

The conversation certainly felt one-sided, never mind that all of us we're probably tired from the hysteria. Lau could hear us perfectly, which meant that every comment we had made its way to Sydney. Yes, even the side comments we made in jest, the very comments that should be whispered, only to be later exposed and laughed about. For some reason the revelations felt a little heavier. The laughter that followed after was, inevitably, heavier too.

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8/18/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the things I can't fit, part two

Even if I don't really have any use for these boxes of photo paper - I have two boxes of Shanghai and one box of Lucky - I still keep them around. It's ironic that I shot this photo with my own digital camera. That, and the fact that I don't have a dark room, and I don't really know anyone who has. Same thing goes with the course cards on top: I don't know why I have them. One is Cuyeg's, the other is Edsel's, and I'm certain one of them is Iza's. If only I remember who the other one is right now.

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8/17/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the things I can't fit, part one

I had one of the flimsiest questions in college life. ''Will I ever get invited to a debut, considering that almost every female I know is going to turn eighteen?'' I wrote. I ended up in four of them. Caresse's was this little surprise affair. Jackie's (the one on the photo) was a grander one, with the chocolate fondue, the adorable nephew and the fairy wings. Kim's was a beach-themed one, complete with Cuyeg finding himself in a not-so-sticky situation. And then there's Piyar and her party that screams ''big time'', thanks to the professionally-voiced audio invitation. Wait, was that it?

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8/16/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the writing

In the beginning, there was English class, and essays on random subjects such as origami and the bonobos. Oh, and as you can see, virginity. I haven't read that essay since, and I can't remember why I decided to write about it.

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8/15/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the campaigns

I slightly regret not being able to cover the 2005 Freshmen Elections - but then again, I was pretty timid at the time! Except, perhaps, for the one time when the Santugon candidates did an RTR session in our class. I asked one of the four, ''how will you inform us students of your programs?'' She answered, ''good question!'' She'd later invite me to her 18th birthday. Years later, were good friends, to the point that I can take these crazy photos of her.

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8/14/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the hard stuff, part two

In hindsight, I can't imagine a radio drama about two sisters arguing over coins airing on the radio. But I gained an appreciation into radio dramas through radio production class, especially after Basyang, when I resorted to listening to DZRH's primetime dramas. (Yes, I was listening to <i>Gabi ng Lagim.</i>) The only thing I'll reveal about the script is this: I named the characters after Kizia (she was Ginny) and Sarah (she was, well, Sarah).

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8/13/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the hard stuff, part one

Despite my penchant for candid photographs, I wasn't so happy with photography class. I wasn't that fired up, and I somehow found it tedious. Still, I took some pretty good photographs (it's the power of depth of field) and I learned stuff that I'd use in my candids terms after. And then there are the candids I took for the class itself, including this not-so-classic photo of Lau looking for subjects from the Yuchengco building. There are two copies of this: the one on the photo is clean, while the other is smudged and resides in my portfolio. The companion piece - a photo of Cuyeg with his arms larger than usual - I can't remember where.

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8/12/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the thought bubbles

My second major college flare-up was when I told the whole Saliksik gang that I've been faking it the whole time. (The first involved Ale.) Pretty much the whole block misunderstood what I meant, so for a couple of days I felt like I screwed it up. The only person who thought otherwise the first time was Kevin, who wrote this little note on my Saliksik handbook. The others (Jason notably) coached me on how to apologize. The following day, I hesitated going to the classroom. I was, of course, terribly wrong.

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8/11/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the early days, part two

I tried to survive my first term in college with one spiral notebook. I don't know what I thought it could, but obviously it didn't work, since I eventually bought a refillable journal. Still, the notebook proved useful, especially during that first day in class, where I wrote down my notes on existentialism - before critical thinking class proved to be a bore. (The Santugon sticker was added on two terms later. Blame it on Les.)

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8/10/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the early days, part one

One of my critical papers for Miss Sangil's art appreciation class, tackling the confusion that is Amadeus. In hindsight, I think I wrote a bad paper. Apparently she didn't see it that way.

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8/09/2010 ‒
Spring cleaning: the beginning

Friday night in my bedroom, with papers and whatnot from seven years of high school and college sorted out on the floor. And the electric fan, and the radio, and my sister's stuff.

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8/08/2010 ‒
My American friends

At the risk of sounding painfully innocent, isn't it fun to think that technology has enabled us to be friends, more or less, with people on the other side of the world?

Well, yes, there was that thing called snail mail. You could be sending letters to someone in Paris! (Isn't that romantic?) You'd just do a little digging, give a little effort, and you could be sending correspondence with someone who definitely knows a lot more about the French Revolution than you do. And then there's personally knowing someone who's on the other side of the world. Here's an obligatory shoutout to Anna, my elementary classmate who flew to Rancho Cucamonga and went off my radar for almost a decade.

But that's beside the point. Isn't it fun to think that technology has enabled us to be friends, more or less, with people on the other side of the world? Those darned social networking sites have made it easy. Gone are the days when you'll struggle to find an address to send letters too. It's just a couple of clicks and, when you're deemed interesting enough - that is the new currency, admit it - then you can be exchanging several lines per second about how different life is in opposite ends of the planet.

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