7/17/2011
I should be gay because...

Girls will not be able to break my heart anymore.

When I decide that I like someone so much that she deserves a slot in my handful of involuntary daydreams, it starts off a vicious cycle that ends with me hating myself for letting it happen all over again.

Sure, something may be completely off with my plans - the worst being that I never really leave the bench and enter the court - but my inability to actually act on my feelings doesn't mean I deserve to get hurt. I know what I can and cannot do. I cannot be like everyone else, or most of everyone else. I cannot come up to a girl and say I like her, more so in the past five years or so.

You'll say that I bring all the pain on myself.

Sure. I like you, you see. I see you spend more time with everybody else. I cannot have you for just one day. Okay, I did. Well, I almost did. And then you said no.

I know what I can and cannot do, and while I cannot have you, I can be happy with you. Even for that one moment. But I can't.

Why not look around, then? Lots of fish in the sea. But I'm growing old and, along with it, I'm getting more cynical. Then I'd probably be more outright with it - no, I actually am - and in the future, I'll probably give up on girls altogether. It's just not worth getting hurt over and over again. Maybe I should turn gay and go for guys again? It should be a different experience. But I guess the pain will still be the same, if not worse.

And your responses...

22 is not old. I'm 22! Tsk. CHEER UP!! :) :) :)

Anonymous Anonymous ‒ 7/17/2011     

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