Without a plan

May is almost over. I've only written three blog entries. The gaps between them are long again - ten days, roughly, although I mostly attribute this to how busy I've been lately. In fact, I have at least three blog entries in my head. I'm just not writing them down yet.

In days like these I wish I could write spontaneously again, like I did in this blog's early years. I'd just sit down and talk about my day and something would come up. It wouldn't be perfect, but it's still something. But now, more often than not, I have the need to make sure everything clicks in my head before writing it down. It has to be all laid out - the arguments, the way the arguments get there, you get the idea - they all have to be laid out before I write a single word.

So, yes, my writing has fallen victim to my undeclared philosophy of making sure everything is planned out before taking a first step. You know, that thing most people seem to hate?

But yes, right now, I am writing from the top of my head. This will sound rambly; it will all be part of this particular entry's ragtag charm. It will be raw, and thus more authentic; it will be easier to understand since I haven't layered metaphors over metaphors; it will speak to more people, relate to more people. It's, you know, a blog, and not another essay composed of rants about politics or about society, a long-form article in the wrong place, a writer trying to punch above his weight, even if there's no chance that he will be recognized for what he does because, well, he's not meant for it.

That could work, but frankly, at the moment, I'm not happy with how off-track this whole entry is becoming. I'm writing without a plan and I am not satisfied. But I can't force myself. But I have to, somehow.

And your responses...

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