In those exceedingly idealized versions of the world we live in, it doesn't matter who you are or where you came from or what you believe in - we can all get together.

But that isn't the case. And even if it did, we will, sooner or later, manage to break it.

It's really just how we are, come to think of it. No matter what we say, or what we write, or what we believe, we will find a way to break it. Yes, let's all get together, but no, not really. We'll impose some criteria, some unspoken criteria. We'll turn this whole thing into a numbers game, because knowing more people, having more people at our beck and call - wouldn't that be nice? We'll want to look better so we can have more numbers, and we'll only want to have the right people by our side, and then, boom. It's broken.

We don't really realize this, do we? We're all told it would be so much better if we could just get together. But then, we're all told to not think too far ahead, because that is a bad thing, because it complicates things, because it destroys the utopia we've spent our entire lives building in our heads. So, nobody realizes that we're just not equipped to create that scenario. At one point, someone will break the system, whether by nefarious scheming or by mere human nature.

The more we include, the more we exclude. The more we build a community, the more we build fences, which later turn into walls. The more we build a community, the more we form a better idea of who we want to be with, who we want to be there - the more we work active to ensure this is the case. Keep the crowd you want to be with, and keep everybody else out. Believe that you're being nice this way.

I thought the same way too. I wanted to be friends with everyone, but inevitably I gravitated towards certain people more than others. I wanted to be cool. I know it's impossible, but I wanted to try nonetheless. And I was convinced I was doing the right thing. I can't be like those people who put others down. But, hey, we break the system eventually.

It never really was to last. It never really was to work in the first place. I still look out the window wondering what could have been. I still want more - and I know I have enough, but I still want more. It's just how it is, I guess. We're all busy building that utopia in our heads, never mind the constant reminders that we're always on the rejection pile.

If only we were allowed to think this far ahead.