As a blogger, I am a failure

I started blogging twelve years ago.

My intentions in starting a blog were simple: I wanted to write. I fashioned myself a good writer - although that view remains as inflated as it ever was - so I thought I'll write somewhere people could see it.

I'm not sure if I have succeeded. Some people have seen my writing and liked it. Some have hated it, hated it enough to send me angry comments, even threatening ones. (They may be in jest, but they are still death threats.) Arguably my writing has led me to my current relationship status.

I don't know why people like (or hate) what I write. Is it the way I say things? Is it the things I say? I don't think it's the latter, personally - that gets annoying, especially in recent years. Nobody at my age wants to know about what I feel, unless I have either earned the privilege, or am spouting all that positivity bullshit.

I started a blog because I wanted to write. I just wanted to write. I never thought I could be popular because of it. I wouldn't have wanted to anyway.

That said, as a blogger, I am a failure. A massive failure.

Only my friends know that I write. Well, perhaps also the few people who follow the music scene (ugh) enough to know that there's a pretender by the side attempting to "cover" it. If you ask a stranger if they know about me, they'll perhaps be puzzled.

No, I did not want to be popular, but imagine - you can have millions of people following your every word! You can post your opinions and have millions agree with you! Have millions fight for you! If I got another death threat, even in jest, wouldn't it be nice to have millions track that idiot down and doxx him? Or her? Or them? They'll probably get the wrong person, but whatever. Justice will be served in their eyes anyway.

Wouldn't that be fun? People hanging on to your every word. And maybe I could be appointed assistant secretary at the Presidential Communications Operations Office, too.

And your responses...

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