6/27/2018 ‒
Present tense

I was one of those people who went straight to their bookshelves - although mine isn't really one - as soon as we learned of the death of Anthony Bourdain. I have one of his books, although it's not the one others are likely to have. I made a conscious decision years ago to buy his compilation of essays for magazines (with, at the end, some fiction thrown in), thinking it would be more helpful to me.

I haven't finished the book. It coincided with the time when I decided to drop everything - well, not everything, but I put a hold on my book queue and my television shows, a hiatus that is somehow still in place two and a half years later. I did not have a ready quote to cite in tribute, so I spent some time riffling through the pages, hoping for something, anything, to pop out. In hindsight, I shouldn't have put that much effort into making a meaningful part of the conversation. I mean, nobody would notice. There was a lot going on.

I am six seasons behind on Parts Unknown. That also fell victim to the hiatus. I'm perhaps the only person in this urban agglomeration to not have seen that episode on the Philippines, the episode where Tony (can I call him that, too?) ate at a Jollibee. After his death, I still haven't. There are other, more pressing things to be done.

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6/21/2018 ‒
Adrift

I liked this sort of photo at the time. Flash plus lots of action. It's a point-and-shoot; nothing was in my control. I use this today, ten years later.

I remember nothing about my graduation day, exactly ten years ago today.

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6/18/2018 ‒
No pressure

I got my first wedding invitation today.

Well, I have been to many weddings before, of course. I was, at one point, the ring bearer, for the wedding of my aunt to an American. It wasn't for a Catholic wedding, but that does not matter one bit.

Still, all those weddings, I was a hanger-on, for lack of a better term. It's a relative getting married - an aunt, and later, cousins - and it's impossible to beg off. There were also two instances when it's a work colleague getting married, but even then I wasn't invited because I was a respected colleague, but because I also happen to be the son of their boss. I'm not sure if that does not matter one bit.

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6/11/2018 ‒
But not for long

The past week saw two relatively high-profile suicides. I say "relatively" because, face it, not everybody cares about a handbag designer or a food writer; not everybody can claim to have a pulse about the worlds of fashion or artfully-shot and masterfully-written social documentaries with a touch of punk spirit in them. Still, high-profile enough to warrant an outpouring of grief inescapable enough to be noticed.

These being suicides - we know little about them, but the word itself just screams something visceral, "suicide" - there was that degree of urgency, the sort of thing you get, without really understanding what it is, when the reality of the situation hit home. Kate Spade lent her name to a fashion empire. Anthony Bourdain was known the world over for his essays and documentaries. Together they managed to link people together, whether it be through shared tastes, worldviews or aesthetic. All this success, and all this time they were battling demons?

Just goes to say depression can hit any one at any time.

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6/07/2018 ‒
Thrill freaks

I've been going to work on the same street for roughly ten years now.

I know some people will pounce on that as proof of how I can be extremely complacent, of how I am incredibly resistant to change. I would agree, but in this case, it's really happenstance. I have worked on the same street for ten years, now, but that's in three different offices. And trust me, sometimes I wonder if my life will be better if I worked in, say, Ayala Avenue rather than San Miguel Avenue, if that change of environment will be enough to trigger some sort of animal instinct in me, make me want to fight harder, or at least a little differently than I do now.

That said, working in the same street for ten years has meant having some sort of view on how things change. Things have moved a lot in the past decade. I mostly notice this in restaurants. You see them come and go, trying to appeal to the college crowd and then fold up. Considering the University of Asia and the Pacific is pretty much in my backyard, that is a tall cry. The students there are rich, right? Their tuition fee is more expensive than La Salle or Ateneo, right? Does that mean they have more exacting tastes? It depends, I guess? I have worked with a bunch of UA&P graduates - fresh graduates, or, perhaps more likely, students in their internships - and they're happy to get down with take-out from KFC while plotting the course for the world, or at least this country, or at least this government. But that sounds a little too Illuminati for me.

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6/04/2018 ‒
Para sa bayan. Para kay Digong.

Hay, ito na naman 'yang mga hater na 'yan. Mga walang ibang ginawa kung 'di kumontra ng kumontra. Mga puro reklamo. Mga putang ina.

Bahala kayo diyan. Ngumawa na lang kayo ng ngumawa. Wala naman kayong magagawa. Kahit anong pilit ninyong ipasok ulit diyan 'yang putang inang Noynoy na 'yan, wala kayong magagawa. Leni? Putang ina. Pekeng bise naman 'yan. Ipinakulong na namin si de Lima. Ipakukulong namin si Sereno. Si Trillanes. Si Drilon. Si Kiko. Ipakukulong namin si Noynoy, pati si Leni, pati 'yung mga anak niya, dahil sa katarantaduhang ginawa nila sa bayan.

Sa totoo lang, naaawa kami sa inyo. Hindi namin maintindihan kung bakit hindi ninyo maintindihan. Sabi ninyo mahal ninyo ang Pilipinas, pero bakit kayo kumakampi sa kurakot, sa masama? Bakit ninyo pinagpipilitan na ibalik 'yung nakasama sa bayan? Mahal ninyo ang bayan? Pabayaan ninyo na manaig ang tama!

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