3/29/2019
Signs

You really shouldn't be diagnosing yourself of anything, even if you're reading the most reputable of sources. Your vision is most definitely impaired on this one. In this case, though, I couldn't help it.

Chronic fatigue? I want to sleep a lot during weekends.

Insomnia? I think I'm beginning to have it. A couple of nights ago I woke up at one in the morning and failed to fall asleep since. I thought it's the coffee I had at the event I attended in Clark. But last night I got home at one in the morning - and slept half an hour later - and yet I woke up at half past five. And I can't fall asleep since.

Impaired concentration? I'm starting to have that, too.

Heart palpitations? I'm afraid to say this, but yes.

Increased illness? I seem to be getting the cold more often these days, for some reason.

Anxiety? Well, I've always been anxious. And besides, I don't want to admit that, because having anxiety is romantic these days. You know people using this new-found awareness of mental health to make themselves look more special than they really are.

Depression? See above.

Loss of enjoyment? See this.

Pessimism? Well, I've always been this, too. I guess it's also why I tend to do more things myself. I have difficulty trusting other people to get it right. All right, it probably is not a sign of something.

Detachment? What is going on in the world these days?

Apathy and hopelessness? I don't care.

Irritability? Well, this laptop froze again. And my brother didn't clean the stuff he ate on. He always fucking expects other people to do it for him. Fucking hell.

Lack of productivity? I haven't done a single thing today. I have several internal deadlines ringing. But I don't want to do anything. All I've done today is try to sleep again, and read this list of signs of burnout, and yes, my vision is impaired, and I am seeing all of this and more in me. The worst part is, there is no way out - not a vacation, not a check-up, not a break. I can't afford to take a break. Like, financially, I can't afford to take a break. I'm not in control of things. If I lose control of that, too, well, I might as well die.

And your responses...

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