9/01/2020
Stasis

The lockdowns began in the middle of March. I remember not thinking of summer, even if it was going to begin at the time, because it was starting to be clear that nobody was going anywhere.

Well, it's been almost six months - I think six months in two weeks' time.

As I said yesterday, by now we've just gotten used to it. There's brooding frustration, and perhaps anger too, but not much has come out of it, because, well, why would we? Would it really be worth it? What else are we left to do? What else are we allowed to do?

And so, for the past five and a half months, we've been stuck in some sort of stasis. I'm lucky, in a way, since I have been working from home for the most part of the last four years anyway. Slightly less adjustment, but then, you're still thinking about whether you'll get out of here relatively unscathed, and not necessarily on the medical front. Like, still, one of these days I might be out of a job. I might not be able to do the things I kind of took for granted before all this happened. We're in stasis, but in a way, we're also going backwards. A paradox, if that's what you call it.

Yet we have to continue moving forward somehow, keep things going, keep things from getting worse. Is that what you call a paradox now? Am I confusing my terms?

The confusion, it seems, reflected on the weather. It's been almost six months, and most of those days have been really sunny, like we're stuck in summer or something. Yes, there have been really rainy days, and yes, the worst typhoons have yet to come - speaking of which, are we ready when a really strong storm hits the country, in these times? - but otherwise, it's been really hot and humid. Shalla and I, unfortunately, live in a flat without airconditioning, at least not yet, so the electric fans have been working overtime, and yet it does not feel enough. The plants seem to agree with us.

This morning, as I sat in front of this laptop to fire off a bunch of invitation letters, I thought that the skies must be waiting for things to get normal before it gives us the summer vacation we claim we deserve. Sure, that's too romantic. This is really the climate crisis unfolding, and much more noticeable because of that whole stasis thing. But maybe, just maybe, that could work as an explanation, too.

And then it rains hard for ten, maybe fifteen, minutes.

And your responses...

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