It's a pretty gloomy Christmas - and I am not just saying that.
It has been gloomy all morning. Okay, sure, the sun has started to peek out somewhat. I am writing this at noon, though, so there's that.
I suppose the good thing about this is that it's been chilly. It's been really chilly these past few days, which at least reminds you of how things used to be, at least when viewed through the rose-tinted lenses we tend to put on when looking back at our childhoods. Sure, there's the thing that temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere have been lower than usual these past few days. It's not fun, or so the news reports suggest. Also, global warming!
I guess that's why most of us don't care about global warming. I mean, the ordinary Filipino. If it's hotter than usual, you just man up. If it's colder than usual, celebrate! If it rains so hard that it floods when it shouldn't... it's just a stronger typhoon, right? But then, I'm going way off track. Christmas. This is supposed to be about Christmas.
I'm writing this from my parents' home, my home of 27 years, and by all means, my home, still. Everything has changed around me, but then, I've always made that observation since moving out. But for this essay's purposes, I'll say that people just don't seem to come around anymore. My sister says not a lot of carolers have come around this year. Just one, I think - and that's unusual enough for their shih tzu to bark, which doesn't happen. This morning, there are still strangers wearing their best outfits, going door to door, extorting money from residents - I mean, looking for Christmas cheer. But I've been in the living room the whole morning, and I only heard one group do that. I supposed the chill hasn't encouraged people to go out. I suppose times are different, indeed.
Come to think of it, I have celebrated every one of my Christmases here. I suppose I'm lucky to still be able to mark the holidays with my family. Immediate family, at least, I can manage. Extended family, not so. The bigger the group, the more effort is made to make it look like things are harmonious and well. Games, programs, having a cousin knock up a graphic that looks as Christmas-y as possible. But then, the past few days I've seen a lot of talk about how it is a bad thing to ask someone why they're getting fat or when they're getting married. But then, we're growing old, and as we add days and years to our existence we stop seeing the magic and start sensing how weird it all really is.
But then, I suppose I'm lucky than the people who are spending their Christmas alone. But then, I suppose - I know I said that before - the artifice of events like this makes for stronger bonds with the people you do choose to spend those events with. Your special someone. Or your new special someone. Or yourself. But then - I know - I am going way off track.
The sun still hasn't peeked out. I mean, it's sunny, but it's also not sunny.
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