3/31/2023 ‒
The walls are up

I sometimes said that I can see Vico Sotto's office from my window.

Yeah, I think I'm the only one who found that funny. Yes, I think that was supposed to be a joke, and I pummeled that to death without anyone laughing at it, so perhaps I am a failure as a person. Snap out of it, Niko. This isn't the point of the whole entry.

Right. But, yes, I could see Vico Sotto's office from my window. At least his office building. The Pasig city hall. If you know what to look for, you'll find it. You could also see as far out as the Sierra Madre mountains. That's how high up I am.

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3/30/2023 ‒
The barriers are down

I've talked a bit about the Dunkin' branch near the flat. Or maybe I haven't. I don't really know anymore.

It's not in a commercial area, but in many ways it's a big branch, since it's where their warehouse is. It's also near to me - just a five minute walk on a good day, meaning there aren't the crowds that usually mill outside the TV5 studios every morning.

It's useful. Sure, there is now a Starbucks branch right beside the flat - and I've been meaning to write about it - but Dunkin' coffee is still cheaper, and you don't have to deal with analysis paralysis when choosing the food that goes with it, and I get to put in the steps, too. Except for yesterday. It's been do hot, so I decided to drive. I know, bad for the environment and all.

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3/27/2023 ‒
Arm's length

It was already difficult enough when you always have thoughts about how the reason I have difficulty maintaining meaningful friendships is because I am just not worth it, that I am not likeable enough, or not liked at all.

Yes, yes, this is a mood swing, a mini mood swing. I did just come from a long phone call which would disprove this whole thing. But that happens a lot. I always have something to disprove whatever idea is intruding in my head, but the thing is stubborn, and I'll dwell on that idea for a while. Like, right now, as I write this. I am not likeable enough. I am not liked at all. And everyone who spends time to talk to me is just keeping me at arm's length,

I never really had a group that I could call my own, a set of friends I can turn to. Okay, again, I have facts that can disprove that, at least at the moment. It'll only be the case for now. Sooner or later they will stop talking to me because I am not likeable enough. I am not liked at all. You get the cycle.

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3/24/2023 ‒
Out of it (once again)

On the month marking eighteen years since I started this blog - which means eighteen years since I started blogging, and writing seriously - I am going to say this: I think I am all written out.

I know, it always goes the same way. I have things I want to write, I have mapped some of them out, and I just haven't gotten around to them. Only this time I decide not to write them just yet, until the thought disappears and I end with nothing on the slate again. And this happens over and over because I am lazy now, like really lazy.

Actually, in the middle of writing this, I decided to watch a music video and got distracted by the whole thing.

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