For a while I thought I would comfortably write four essays on the blog this month, considering I had written two in one week, and... well, and one in the three weeks that followed it.
Yes, you know this position.
To be fair, the first few weeks of the month was a lull period. It's that unspoken of moment of rest immediately at the end of a big event - in this case, a trip to Cebu - and the preparations for the next one. Unspoken, because you're not really supposed to rest, are you? That's how capitalism works, and so on, and so forth.
Add to that the fact that things are definitely back to normal now - I mean, considering the last three or so years of doing everything in front of a screen - and I have been out and about. I came from a lunch meeting, in a restaurant I have not heard before, on its last day of operations, and I was in there with a VR headset on. It's a work thing. It's also an absurd bunch of phrases to put together.
I had a bunch of meetings this week, too. Mostly online, sure, but then, these are people who aren't in the Philippines. But it does feel like things are picking up. And then there's tomorrow. I leave for La Salle again, same as two weeks ago. I'm sure that will be the case for the next four Saturdays as well. My planner - the one I got from Muji - is filling up nicely, not with thoughts and notes, but with appointments. And, well, the occasional reminder that I have to publish a few things for the Once Monthly.
And so I have to remind myself of a few things. One, time management. You also have other things you need to do. Two, rest. You need to rest. You need a few hours of sleep - unfortunately, my body clock now insists I wake up at three in the morning - and you need, I don't know, an hour a week to try to cry? Three, you are allowed to be overwhelmed. But you are not allowed to act on it. You have to have that stiff upper lip thing and just do as you're told, as you're demanded. You do not deserve rest, Niko. You deserve to suffer.
Wait, no, sorry. I have been busy, which should be keeping my mind off things, but hello to the boogeyman who keeps on popping up in my dreams lately. I'll acknowledge you're there, and then I'll finish this damn thing and wait for the go-signal for a phone call.
Post a Comment